When was the last time friendship cost you your job or a position of honour? Or caused tension with significant people in your life? Jonathan’s friendship with David was costly for Jonathan in two important ways. Firstly, it meant giving up the position and privilege that he had and being willing to see David become king instead of himself. Secondly, it meant having a tense relationship with his father and living in an uncomfortable environment. Throughout their association, it is Jonathan’s friendship with David that is tested. Only many years later, when David is King, is he able to reciprocate by showing kindness to Jonathan’s son.
“May the Lord be with you as he has been with my father” says Jonathan to David. Jonathan recognizes that God had chosen David to be King after Saul. This is no easy guess. David is the shepherd boy who has risen from obscurity to popularity after defeating Goliath. He is just beginning to acquire a reputation as a military hero. Only the prophet Samuel who anointed him knew that David would one day be king. Even his family probably had no clear understanding of what the anointing was for. Jonathan speaks with remarkable discernment. However, what is fascinating is that as the eldest son of Saul, Jonathan is heir to the throne. In training, ability and character he is very much capable for the job. Yet he is able to bypass himself and bless and encourage David to the role that God called him to, even though David and kingship didn’t seem very obvious at that point.
Jonathan’s humility is mindboggling. It is one thing to encourage someone else to take on a role or task according to God’s leading, It is quite another to do so by bowing yourself out of the running, especially if the job might look prestigious. Jonathan had the maturity to see that life was about being content in the different tasks/roles that God calls us to, rather than about jostling for power in a hierarchy of jobs. Much later, when he seeks out David who is hiding from Saul in the wilderness, Jonathan says “you shall be king over Israel and I shall be second to you”.
It makes me wonder how things would have played out had Jonathan not been killed in battle. What would have playing second fiddle in David’s court looked like? It would at the very least mean seeing his friend David wearing the crown of his father Saul. It would also mean when court officials instinctively turned to Jonathan who had grown up in court for leadership, to lead them in looking to David instead. It would mean recognizing what could have been his and letting it go and leading the way in making people look away from him to someone else. Jonathan’s sense of self was not defined by his position and he was able to hold his privileges lightly and give them up if necessary. Even at the very outset of their friendship, Jonathan gives his robe, armour, bow, sword and belt, i.e the trappings of his position to David. Given the opportunity, how many of us would be able to even choose someone else over ourselves to go on a business/ministry trip to an interesting or prestigious destination/event ?
Jonathan seeks out David in the wilderness of Ziph at Horesh. David with his band of ragtag followers has been on the run from Saul for a while and at this point Saul is hunting for him every day. When Jonathan comes to David, the Bible records that Jonathan “strengthened David’s hand through the LORD”. Jonathan understood that David was weary and disheartened and needed his presence and encouragement. Jonathan is sensitive to what was needed of him and also brave, risking the danger of being attacked by David’s men as he goes in search of David. However, what strikes me most is his ability to handle conflicting loyalties well. After being there for his friend in a very real way, he goes back home. He elects to stay with Saul, even though he doesn’t like what Saul is doing. His position however has been clearly communicated to his father and he acts according to his conscience despite Saul’s displeasure. Over time and at appropriate situations, Jonathan first dissuaded his father from his plans to kill David and then stood up to him risking his father’s murderous rage in allowing David to get away. It is ironic that the while Saul is trying to figure out where David is to chase and kill him that Jonathan knows where he is hiding but does not give him away. Saul learns where David is hiding from other sources.
I wonder what the tension would have been like for Jonathan to live around Saul, as he planned and strategized to do away with David? To be loyal to his father and respectful of his kingship but to take a stand for what is right and show loyalty to his friend too? Eventually Jonathan fights alongside Saul and dies in battle defending Israel from an attack of the Philistines. Jonathan supports his father when his course is right and refuses to be a part of any wrongdoing and challenges Saul’s attitudes and actions when necessary. Jonathan’s love for his father involved integrity, it did not allow him to shy away from bringing up inconvenient and unwelcome truths. It is this same integrity that does not allow him to drop David, when David falls out of favour with Saul.
An important marker of Christian maturity is to be fair and just in our dealings with others. If someone we love/like such as a family member or close friend did something wrong that negatively impacted others, would we acknowledge their actions as wrong or would we close ranks behind them? We are disappointed when leaders blindly take the side of their buddies by refusing to consider that their friends might be in the wrong. Even more insidiously, many more of us might recognize it when those close to us wrong others, yet remain silent and refuse to rebuke them, especially by making our views publicly known. A respected Sri Lankan Christian leader recently said that leaders need to have the reputation of judging fairly, including when it comes to the wrong actions of people close to them. Obviously this will be very painful to the leader, as he/she will have to face the anger and possible rejection of their friend or loved one.
Jonathan had a clear sense of what was right and wrong and he was able to consistently voice the truth. He didn’t issue statements of condemnation from outside the situation, rather he was in the thick of things. I admire men and women like him who recognize sin in their families, communities, churches, ethnic/social groups and countries and do the uncomfortable task of truth telling from within. It can be hard to critique an unjust situation from within, not least because the group to which you belong can question your loyalty to them. I remember an early instance where on a very small scale, I managed to challenge falsehood. Sri Lanka had been having an internal war for over 10 years. The ‘other’ had taken on solid stereotypes. We lived in an all Sinhala neigbourhood and my mother and I were chatting across the fence with a neigbour who came out with a statement like “anyway those people are like that. ” I can’t remember the specific comment, only that it wasn’t complimentary. I didn’t agree with her and on a usual day would have smiled and said nothing. That day, I responded with “why do you think so?” i.e. have such a view of ‘those’ people. I was not comfortable in saying that, but I knew that I should challenge an untrue assumption rather than keep regretting missed opportunities to be ‘salt and light’. I don’t think my neigbour liked being put on the spot, but at least she was made aware that it was not acceptable to pass on stereotypical assumptions of a different ethnic group (in this case Tamils) as facts. Now this was a very simple step of someone from the majority community, ‘defending’ the minority community amongst her own ethnic group. At a much deeper level of personal risk, a Tamil doctor living in Jaffna under the regime of the Tigers publicly debated the LTTE leadership.
Let’s be willing to challenge the status quo when it’s the right thing to do, never mind if we are queasy in the stomach. Let’s also envision and encourage others in the tasks which God might be calling them to.
